The Prankster has a growing collection of joke witness statements that ParkingEye use at POPLA and in court.
Here is one from Aldi supermarket. The first problem is that it is not signed by the witness, but by somebody else. It is therefore a somebody-else statement and not a real witness statement at all.
Poor old Rachel Ogden. It's always embarrassing when you forget the name of your boss!
(pp The Parking Prankster)